Okay, so it is the day after Christmas and as usual I wake up feeling confused and a little sad.  I go for 2 weeks to stay down the beach and have to come back Christmas day for family stuff.  This year was difficult as we planned so much and then, well life happens.  Between Covid tests and family members who have to isolate as well as others that are ill, nothing seems to go as planned.

If you look at it properly, no real issues there but, man, the peparation, the planning, well you sometimes wonder why all of it for just one day?  So much anticipation and it's over so fast.

Christmas Eve for us is as follows:

We cook and make salads in our holiday home ready for home the next day.  Sort out stuff we are taking home to be washed and bring back

Drive 2hrs to get home

Hit the ground running, clean pool, wash clothes, sort clothes and things we are taking back, make sure all presents are lined up and ready for Christmas day.   While the wash is going through the dryer this time I end up sorting through my clothes and what Im chucking out, feeling very organised.  At 11.30pm after a swim in the nice clean pool I decide to call it a day. 

Christmas day arrives: leasurely morning, kids over for breakfast, open presents, clean mess, work out where the hell we are putting what we got for Christmas, cook breakfast.

Husband sits and rests, so I run around putting stuff away, try to set the table for dinner that night then realise it's futile, as not many are turning up and the cat is playing with the bottom of the tablecloth so cutlery and plates could end up on the floor. 

At lunch time we go to a big family lunch with in-laws.  I try to behave, and end up drinking too much.  I then go home and try to put dinner together while trying to sober up for the big 2hr trip back to the beach that night.  

Ok, so I woke up feeling bummed this morning even though I'm at the beach.  I did have a good day yesterday, it was more relaxed than usual.   I was speaking to hubby about it and he reckons it's all stress about Christmas and the anticipation that things will be more difficult than they actually are.

I try to remember what I got for Christmas and where I put it, all seems a blur to me and Im annoyed I didn't bring my new workout gear or my new perfume or diary to the beach.  I will have it when I get home in a week though.

I actually went for a run, the ocean is my sanity I think and can reflect how I feel.  There wasn't much sand this morning to run on and it was trying to rain, it was also cold and windy, but wow I felt so much better and less dead inside when thnking of the coming week.

Hubby is now cooking bacon and eggs for brekky wondering where I put half the groceries last night, I can't remember but Im having a laugh about it instead of getting up and trying to control the situation and find the bread rolls to go with the bacon and eggs.  Surprise surprise, hubby finds them in the cupboard where they usually are......I guess just slowing down and going with it may work for me this week.

So it begins with this morning's text....today my father and my brother are turning up, Dad's covid test came back negative...(he was at an exposure site so I didn't see him or my brother yesterday).   They stay the other end of the street to us so they are not on top of us, although this does work, we do feel obligated to see them every day even thought they tell us we don't have to.  My brother loves going out to eat as do I, so we don't have to cook for them which is a bonus.

My in-laws on the other hand "don't want to impose" but they stay in our tiny cabin with us for 2 full days (they arrive at 8 in the morning....omgg.)   Hubby likes me to be back from my run by the time they get here, but I accidentally on purpose take a wrong turn... I do love my in-laws and my mother in law is more a friend than anything, they are alot of fun to hang out with but, we have to do everything with them.  It does get on my nerves as I feel guilty when I go off alone to run, or go for a walk.   I also go really early to see the sunrise.   I shouldn't feel guily about just doing my thing and this year I'm hoping I can say no to a few things such as the icereams in a cone they buy after a very slow walk around the bottom of the bluff on the rocks when the tide is coming in. (I hate icecream in a cone, so messy and when you watch someone eating them it looks well, just gross.   Aside from that icecream does mess with my stomach and teeth.  So I'm going to change it up a bit and say, "well while you are waiting for those, I'll go to the bakery next door and grab a coffee"..... the bar the other side may be a bit obvious!!

I've also said no to the restaurant they insist on taking us to.  Hubby actually backed me up with this and said that the menu there had gone downhill.   My in-laws then suggested Vietnamese, my jaw almost hit the floor, luckily I was able to say I can't do that, hubby backed me up with that as well.  I should mention that I have an extreme gut reaction to onion and garlic which is actually life threatening, so not just a tummy ache, it's a twisted bowel.  Nevertheless, I've changed it up to another place, the place they like doesn't deal well with my allergies, and I end up almost in hospital after I've eaten there, so as you can imagine I'm not even contemplating Vietnamese food.  I'm thinking maybe the pub hehe!!!  Not sure how that will go down.  We  do love the beer garden but that is stretching it way to far!!

Funny how I do love it when my kids turn up with their partners and stay with us for a few days and I freak out when my Dad and brother arrive with my in-laws.  I think it may be because my kids dont live at home anymore and relationships do change.  Then I worry that I am "imposing" on them!!!! 

How life goes in circles, I can even remember Mum when she was alive, freaking out about going to see her family interstate and Dad having to pull over so they could have a cup of tea five minutes before we arrived every time.

So, what will I do today?!  Well the run is done, there are the boxing day sales, and I plan to have a look at my favourite shops in the little town before the rest of the holiday makers roll up in their caravans and tents with 3-4 kids in tow.  Following that I'm thinking another walk down the beach when it's acutally sunny (crap its raining now) with hubby to the pub there for a pre family onslaught cocktail.   We both may just need it.